Keeping Kenn Zeller’s name alive


In a crowded classroom at OISE a couple  of weeks ago I listened politely as a woman told how she had been influenced so positively by a Toronto school librarian years before.

“I was going through a rough time – abuse and all kinds of shit at home,” she said.

“He spent a lot of time with me and I always felt better better after our talks.”

“Then he was murdered in High Park and my world crashed.”

Suddenly very alert, my mind raced back to a murder that had touched me deeply in June of 1985; my God thirty years ago?

A forty-year-old school librarian had left an end-of-year staff party and driven into High Park to see if he might find some opportunities for anonymous sex. Instead he found five drunken teenaged boys, ranging in age from 15 to 18, also celebrating the end of school, who had been heard earlier declaring they were headed to High Park to “beat up a faggot”. As Kenn Zeller walked past the youths, one of them stuck out a foot and tripped him . He managed to get up and run the 10 metres or so to his car but, after getting the door open, he didn’t make it inside. In the minutes of kicking and beating him around the head which followed, his increasingly lifeless form was left for dead. His car was then vandalized.

The five each pleaded guilty to manslaughter and were sentenced to nine years in prison.

“That was Kenn Zeller,” I said to the woman nodding. “I adopted the spelling of “Kenn” as a memorial to him. I don’t get the opportunity to tell the story behind it as much as I might like sometimes.”

His death was a catalyst for the Toronto District School Board implementing a program aimed at eliminating discrimination based on sexual orientation, and a foreshadowing of the board’s Triangle Program for LGBTQI youth.

United Church of Canada Moderator to receive Craig Chaplin Memorial Award


Three Colleges – The United Theological College, The Montreal Diocesan Theological College and The Presbyterian College, Montreal – are gathering May 7 to celebrate their respective Convocations and 100 years together as the Montreal School of Theology.

The Right Reverend Dr. Gary Paterson, Moderator of the United Church of Canada, will be an honoured guest of United Theological College as recipient of the Craig Chaplin Memorial Award, named for my brother who died in May, 2007.

Craig’s loved ones marvel that his Award, to honour the achievements, projects and ministries of openly LGBTQI persons, will be going to the spiritual leader of the Church less than a generation after the historic approval of LGBT ordination in the United Church of Canada. How thrilled Craig would be!

In a letter to UTC Principal Philip Joudrey, confirming the terms of reference for the Award, Craig wrote:

“…it is my intention and desire that this award be presented in recognition of the particular ministries of (LGBT) people both within the formal, organized structures of the Christian Church and without…choosing to honour those whose life’s work has been particularly distinguished in its clear embodiment of such central Gospel values as personal courage and integrity, life-affirming faith and spirituality, an unswerving commitment to social justice and a sustainable environment, and solidarity with those who are poor or marginalized.”

Additional Convocation honours will be bestowed by the other participating colleges and the Convocation Address will be delivered by renowned United Church of Canada theologian Douglas Hall.

To be held at the Church of St. Andrew and St. Paul, on the edge of the McGill University neighbourhood, this will be the first joint Convocation of the three Colleges – and marking 100 years of The Montreal School of Theology is an occasion for a grand celebration!

World AIDS Day 2014 has come and gone and something had me rattled


Here’s an excerpt from my Facebook feed today after I heard Shaun Proulx on CBC Radio’s Metro Morning referring to his blog on HIV Divorce.

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I have AIDS, and have had for many years. I can’t seem to walk that back, to HIV only, so I think of myself as surviving HIV/AIDS. While HIV may never lead to AIDS for some, for other old timers like me that genie seems out of the bottle. I’m rattled by Shaun Proulx’s call for a “divorce” between HIV and AIDS because they are linked and to leave AIDS apart feels further stigmatizing.

Vera Ingrid Tarman, Clare Nobbs, Marie Robertson and 12 others like this.

Lori Knight-Whitehouse See my comment in one of your later posts.

Kenneth G. Chaplin Saw it – and thanks!

Sandra Millar In my opinion, those of you who have been long-term survivors should be “revered” (is that the word?) because you have been through hell to keep going. What with changes of meds that cause your body untold havock and struggles to keep going, with every day a hardship, medically, emotionally and financially! The younger generation who are walking on your back, and others like you need to spend a day with you, to be even begin to have an opinion! And this from a friend and ally, who knows she has only scratched the surface of what this terrible disease does to this living with, and those affected by, who journey with friends whose struggle still ended in death and those friends I know struggle every day…with all the above and more, including some with survivors guilt. I rest my case, for today…but wish I was able to put this on everyone’s post. I KNOW that if I had to walk a mile in your shoes, I would not be so strong or resilient! My thanks for being you – to you and all the others I know…and have known, as just because they died didn’t make them any less in my eyes! hugs, Sandra Millar

Karen MacKay Llewellyn Wanting to affirm the remarks made by Sandra. You have walked the walk with such courage, Kenn. It has been and continues to be so challenging. You have taught us all so much by permitting us to accompany you on this journey. I am ever so grateful to have been invited to share in the struggle and the triumphs. Blessings, my friend!

Tammy Leslie hey buddy xxxxxxx

Kenneth G. Chaplin Such a gratifying feeling to read your support, Sandra Millar and Karen MacKay Llewellyn. Overwhelming!

Paul R. Gilroy Tx Kenn, I am glad to have the opinion of someone (yours) who knows and has experienced the full dimension of HIV / Aids and its impact. I had the same thought that the two are inseparable listening to Sean on the CBC this morning, it seems to me to be wrong to consider that HIV and Aids can be so casually divorced.

Clare Nobbs I heard the interview on MM this morning and was uncomfortable with what SP was saying. Didn’t seem right. It was an argument of privilege to me – and one that was filled with holes. Oftentimes, I think, such arguments come from internalized struggle. And that is not a good place to speak from as it is using the oppressor’s tools against one’s own/self. I can’t say I’ve delved into this too deeply, but I can say that I have the deepest – and fondest – respect for you, Kenn, and the road that have walked these many years I have known you. love, peace and respect to you.

Kenneth G. Chaplin Oh, so many hugs for and from Paul R. Gilroy and Clare Nobbs. Thank you. I have to remember that health outlooks are much different to today’s newly diagnosed by which I mean post-drug cocktail and the simpler treatments nowadays. Privilege, Clare, yes that rings true.

Lunch


I planned dessert first today after seeing Wanda’s Pie in the Sky picture on Facebook this morning.

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I walked over to Kensington Market on a near-empty stomach and plopped myself down on the patio at Caplansky’s Delicatessen on College Street:

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I was impressed with the way the water was delivered:

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Either I was hungry or the portions aren’t as big as they are in Montreal because I had no trouble finishing this smoked meat on rye with French fries:

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Then it was down the street and through the market to Wanda’s Pie in the Sky for my little slice of pumpkin cheesecake:

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I guess you could say I had a full tank for the walk home.

The certainty of uncertainty


In my ongoing quest to get to the bottom of my annoyingly reduced sleep, I received the results of a recent MRI of my brain when I visited my family doctor yesterday and the report was clearly not written for me to comprehend.  Even my doctor was at a loss with some of the language but he concluded, “At least you don’t have a brain tumour,” which was more than I could deduce from this:

MR brain

Clinical history: New onset central sleep apnea.

Multiple sequences were performed through the brain.

The splenium of the corpus callosum is absent and colpocephaly is present.  There is a 1.2 cm gray matter heterotopia along the lateral wall of the trigone of the left lateral ventricle.  There is thinning of the optic nerves, optic chiasm and optic tracts.  The fornices are also quite thin.  The mammillary bodies are small.  The pineal is quite small.  The entire ventricular system is larger than normal.  There are mild microangiopathic changes in the hemispheric white matter.  There is a prominent cisterna magna.  There is mandibular hypoplasia.  There is reversal of the cervical lordosis.

Conclusion:

There are numerous developmental abnormalities of the brain as discussed.  The predominant abnormality is colpocephaly with absence of the splenium of the corpus callosum.  Of note is the presence of a gray matter heterotopia.

*****END OF REPORT*****

Some of the ‘abnormalities’ may stem from my prenatal and first couple of years of life.  ” Hydrocephalus Arrested” is how my mother recalls the episode being summed up by doctors at Montreal Children’s Hospital.  (Hydrocephalus is accumulation of too much cerebrospinal fluid in the brain.)  Outwardly my head was disproportionately larger than my infant body, leading me to sitting up and tipping over, occasionally knocking my head.  That it was “arrested” was of great relief to my parents because two children of two different cousins of my mother had been born with the same condition.  One died, the other spent his shortened life in a wheelchair so one can understand how worried Mom and Dad would have been for me in my early months and years..

I’m guessing the brain’s way of retaining all its history may be partly responsible for the gobbledygook in the MRI report but I’d like to hear it from a neurologist’s mouth, rather than via the cryptic language quoted above.