When…not if

Craig has been pretty much unresponsive since Saturday, with and without the ventilator. Monday an e-c-g type of test, with those non-intrusive thing-a-ma-bobs, was done on his brain and there was very little significant activity. It seems he has been shutting down. His health-care team now says it is a matter of when, and not if, he dies. We had all, of course, thought about this as one of the possible – even likely – outcomes but hearing it yesterday was still a sad reality check, and on the fifth anniversary of Dad’s burial no less. Claude is at peace, as well as anyone can be, with the inevitable.

So now we wait.

Mom is sleeping when she can and holding up very well. I woke up uncharacteristically early this morning and had walked down to “Tim’s” for an extra large coffee and “everything” bagel by 7:30. Mom awoke to find me reading her morning paper on the front verandah.

The good folks in my co-op residence sent me the rest of my in-stock medications so I am good for another two to three weeks.

At the risk of getting ahead of myself, Craig’s memorial service will be held in Montreal, probably at the large St. James United Church. He had thought the McGill chapel would be a beautiful location, and there’s no doubt that it would, but we anticipate needing quite a bit more space. His cremated remains will be buried next to Mom and Dad’s plot at Scotch Line Cemetery on the outskirts of Perth.

Craig has long planned to leave a legacy for theology students. Back in the early 1990s, when we both thought AIDS would kill us within a relatively short time, he made provisions in his will for a United Theological College bursary or scholarship. Craig received his M. Div. there. Contributions to the fund will build on the principal, the interest of which will be used to help an openly LGBT theology student or, to paraphrase his own words, another similarly disenfranchised person as society evolves.

I will provide the particulars, for anyone wishing to contribute, in the coming days. The letters he wrote, to set out his plans, make me so very proud of my big brother! I will be sure to write a tribute, much better than I can today, in the days or weeks ahead.

Your prayers in this difficult time of waiting will continue to lift us all.


2 thoughts on “When…not if

  1. And we will pray for you, for Craig and for your family.

    We will pray in so many languages and time zones.

    We will pray diligently and be a little kinder today than yesterday.

    We will know that a mother’s heart is breaking and siblings need holding.

    And we will honor you.

  2. jeremy

    I will attend the services and of course be here to stand with you. I hope you will Email me (eragon[at] ca[dot] inter[dot] net) and let me know when you will be arriving. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I know St. James it is just up the green line from home.

    Eternal Rest Grant Him and May Perpetual Light Shine Upon Him.


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