Ma Bell hates me

Ma Bell, what did I ever do to you? What else am I to conclude, but some sort of grudge, after this week’s frustrations with my phone service, which was finally repaired somewhere outside my apartment last evening, only to have problems ever since then with my Sympatico (Bell) high speed internet service. Rogers may be getting a call next week.

So, after trying off and on all day to get a connection, I find myself at a hot zone cafe next to Maple Leaf Gardens – about a ten minute walk from home.  One of the staff here was very helpful, I must say, emptying my start menu of all sorts of peripheral crap that has slowed my log-in process for months.

This is the one month anniversary of Craig’s death. It seems hard to believe it’s been that long already.  I was out for a coffee (and an unsuccessful search for an internet connection) this morning and spontaneously started to cry listening to some old music.  I was wearing sunglasses on the coffee shop patio so I probably looked, at best, like I had a bad case of allergies. The emotions seemed to be a mixture of grief and self-pity.

Three guys stopped to chat – one who recognized me from some talk I gave years ago to prospective AIDS “buddies”, another was a guy who I used to share many’s the laugh with over coffee. He says he has since moved out of town. The third was El-Farouk Khaki on his way to a community meeting of some sort. It was nice to be out and about.

I got a couple of things accomplished before lunch, buying a chaise lounge for the balcony as well as a a trio of potted sunflowers well on their way (so I expect they were started in a greenhouse).  Sunflowers are not only my favourite flower but also that of Craig’s partner Claude.

My smile looks so over-the-top when I take my own picture!

It’s been a beautiful sunny day here today, the humidity having been broken by a few thundershowers yesterday. My face is looking a little extra pink thanks to UV rays.

I’m looking forward to church in the morning. The sign out front promises a message from Hal entitled “Confessions of a United Church minister”.  With the grief of the last while I need to also face the reality that Hal and Karen are retiring at month’s end.  They have been extraordinary supports to me, and many others, since they came to Trinity-St. Paul’s United seven years ago.

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